I was someone who appeared to have it all. I was confident yet serious, busy and invested in so many people, had many adventures with my husband and dog. I had a good job and thrived on the stress, I worked hard, cared for family, I always had something I had to do, have I mentioned I was busy? I did not see the cracks, but on reflection they had been there for a very long time.
In 2019, the year of my 40th birthday, my life changed overnight. I woke up one morning and I was having trouble speaking. After some panic and medical appointments, it transpired that I had burn out, my brain had simply decided it could not cope anymore and turned itself off. The medical term being a mental breakdown. This couldn’t be right, I was busy, I was coping, I didn’t feel stressed, so many people relied on me, I needed to fix myself and fix myself quickly. I needed a second opinion. People like me did not have mental exhaustion. Oh, the wormhole of anxiety this created.
Over the coming months I had to get off the rollercoaster of life. I only left the house to walk my dog, I didn’t see people, I couldn’t work, I couldn’t communicate. I fell further into the wormhole, I had anxiety, depression, I couldn’t sleep but was tired all of the time, I just couldn’t see an end to it all. The fibromyalgia that I had lived with for over ten years got worse and my thoughts at this time were getting darker every day. I needed help.
It was whilst out walking one day, nature played a big part in my healing, where I listened to a podcast which would bring around the change in direction in my life. Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place podcast featured Rebecca Dennis who is a Transformational Breath® Facilitator. At this time, I didn’t know what this meant, but just listening about how this breathing technique could help with breathing had me engaged. I finished the podcast and started researching the breathing modality discussed and without much more knowledge I booked onto a 2 day Reclaim Your Breath Workshop which I attended with the mindset of I need to breathe, or I am going to die. It really felt like this was my last chance. Well, the two-day course was so transformative that at the end of it I felt lighter, I had fewer black clouds in my mind and I could actually breathe without panic. I was energised and for the first time in a while, I was positive. I didn’t understand it, but I knew I needed more.
When I came home, my husband was so positive about the sudden change in my demeanour and with his encouragement I looked for the next step and this was to attend a 6-day seminar. Breathing was healing me; breathing was changing my life. I didn’t need to talk about feelings and I didn’t need medication. For the first time ever, I was helping myself. It was on completion of the seminar that I knew my life would never be the same again. Transformational Breath® changed my life and all I knew was that I needed to bring this to other people, why was this not readily available to everyone?
So here I am, a fully certified facilitator and group leader. I have fallen in love with Transformational Breath® and with who I am now. I am calmer, I take more time for me and I listen to my body and my breath. I have let go of a lot of anger, judgement and self-criticism and I just live as much as I can in the now and I attribute these changes to Transformational Breath®. I now only have a problem with my speech if I’m overly tired or if I have allowed the stress to creep in and this is o.k, I am at peace with this now. It’s like I have my own little notification centre that tells me when I need to slow down. I do struggle to ‘find’ words at times but this is a scar that I am learning to live with and my continued breathwork practice helps me with this. I still have a full life but at a much more gentle pace. I slowed down and everything actually managed to carry on around me, what an eye opener that was. But ultimately I’m still me, just a softer and calmer version of me. My aim and ambition is to help as many people as I can and I want to make Transformational Breath® available to anyone and everyone but my desire is to help people like me who may have some mental health issues and are struggling to know where to turn.
So if you have an open mind and want to try something new that might just change your life then please get in touch. I would really love to help you with your journey of discovery.
This is the podcast that started me on my Transformational Breath® journey. Take a listen and see if you are inspired to make a change.
My wonderful husband has always been a pillar of strength and support for me. He has been with me every step of the way through my journey of self discovery and healing. He took my story and had it transformed into this wonderful song which he gifted to me and now it feels very fitting to share this song here with you.
